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Worst Films on Freeview This Week

Mega Piranha - (2010)

16:00 - 17:50 On Fri 6/12/19
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Gigantic, genetically modified piranha chomp their way down Venezuela's Orinoco River in another deliberately over-the-top creature feature from the company that brought you Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. As diplomats and even helicopters fall victim to the rapidly growing eating machines, it's up to a female scientist (1980s pop star Tiffany) and a special agent (Paul Logan) to try to prevent them reaching Florida. While the ultra-earnest leads compete for the title of "most hammy performance", a brainless script and ludicrously un-special effects recall the worst excesses of 1950s B-movies. With realism entirely absent, the mutant fish look particularly ridiculous, consequently swinging between giggle inducing and totally derisible. Nonetheless, writer/director Eric Forsberg revels in the film's absurdities, delivering the frantic events with a mock seriousness that heightens the cheap fun. Those who follow the "so bad it's good" school of thought will probably love it - anyone else should avoid.

Director: Eric Forsberg

Cast List:
Special Forces Agent Jason Fitch : Paul Logan
Sarah Monroe : Tiffany
Bob Grady : Barry Williams
Diaz : David Labiosa
Higgins : Jude Gerard Prest
Gordon : Jesse Daly
Lieutenant Julia : Cooper Harris
Lieutenant Stritch : William Morse
Captain Jonas : Clint Browning
Submarine captain Jim : Matt Lagan

Martian Land - (2015)

18:45 - 20:30 On Sat 7/12/19
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In the distant future, humans are living on Mars in cities that resemble those once found on Earth, and are protected from the inhospitable Martian atmosphere by dome-like force-fields. When a massive sandstorm breaks through the dome and destroys Mars New York, those in Mars Los Angeles must figure out how to stop the storm before it wipes them out next. Sci-fi drama, starring Alan Pietruszewski, Jennifer Dorogi and Lane Townsend.

Director: Scott Wheeler

Cast List:
Neil : Alan Pietruszewski
Foster : Lane Townsend
Miranda : Jennifer Dorogi
Ellie : Arianna Afsar
Ida : Chloe Farnworth
Reiger : Dionne Neish
Andrew : Chaim Dunbar

Lava Storm - (2008)

15:00 - 16:50 On Sun 8/12/19
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Husband-and-wife emergency workers suspect something strange is going on following a cave-in. Returning to the surface they discover a devastating series of volcanic eruptions is under way and face a race against time to save their family and prevent the imminent catastrophe destroying a nearby city. Disaster thriller, starring Ian Ziering and Valerie Valois.

Director: Sean Dwyer

Cast List:
John Wilson : Ian Ziering
Lori Wilson : Valerie Valois
Mike Wilson : Vlasta Vrana
Emma Wilson : Nicole Maillet
Ian Wilson : Adrien Dixon

Riddles of the Sphinx - (2008)

16:00 - 17:50 On Thu 12/12/19
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When an astronomer and a cryptographer discover a series of ancient tunnels, they unwittingly release a deadly Sphinx intent on carnage. In order to recapture the creature in its tomb, the pair must decipher a series of intricate and deadly riddles. Monster thriller, starring Dina Meyer and Lochlyn Munro.

Director: George Mendeluk

Cast List:
Jessica : Dina Meyer
Robert Parr : Lochlyn Munro
Ryder : Mackenzie Gray
Thomas : Donnelly Rhodes